The Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City Episode 10
Ski goggles and high heels
At the start of episode 10 “In Hot Water,” we find Meredith doing her morning scroll, when Seth walks in with some tea and a rose.
“I want you to look at that [rose] when I leave to remind you we’ve fully blossomed,” Seth tells Meredith. Hold on. I have to clean this barf off my keyboard.
Meanwhile, Lisa has handed her 8-year-old a lil bundle of weeds to wave around the house,
Heather is flirting with the teen who runs the front desk at Beauty Lab Laser,
and Jen is struggling to turn on a lamp, a lamp she’s unfamiliar with since she’s living in a house that is not hers.
Jen is still reeling from Sharrieff’s party during which she threw a glass in a drunken rage after Whitney told her Meredith and Lisa told Mary they are afraid of Jen. I understand that’s a tough sentence to follow and I just don’t know what to tell you. It’s a complicated show.
Sharrieff is not talking to Jen, so she’s alone and depressed.
Whitney, who is arguably to blame for the party chaos, pops into Beauty Lab Laser for a quick chat with Heather.
Whitney kind of blames Heather for the way things went down.
But if she’s going to blame anyone other than herself, she should blame Sara, who stupidly told her the party would be the correct time to confront Jen.
If Whitney hadn’t learned not to listen to Sara after Sharrieff’s party, she certainly did this past week when Sara posted photos of herself at the rally turned insurrection, with this caption:
Whitney responded with this post:
and a series of stories distancing herself from Sara, likely at the behest of Bravo, who don’t want to be seen as promoting a QAnon follower. So I’m not sure Whitney and Sara are on the best terms now.
Anyway.
Heather manages to make this conversation, like every conversation she has, into a conversation about her insecurities:
Back in Park City, Seth and Meredith are still being disgusting:
And Lisa is talking at John about the party fiasco.
He responds with a series of “yeahs,”
and struggles to stay awake.
Lisa proceeds to slander the women of Utah,
which makes no sense. She is a Utahn. She acts like she isn’t, but she is. She owns a home in Draper. She gets multiple 44 oz Diet Cokes in a day. She is on the cover of Salt Lake Magazine this month:
You do not get more Utahn than that.
Also, I do not understand this confessional look:
Did she repurpose a child’s mermaid Halloween costume? Did she borrow the top from Tonya Harding? Is the purple bra sewn in? She looks like one of the girls in high school who discovered a loophole in the dress code.
Lisa makes it very clear she does not care for Whitney.
She says Whitney should work less on her dance moves and more on being an adult, which is rich coming from a woman who in the previous shot was wearing a Melissa & Doug fairy costume.
Meredith tells Seth that she’s tired of Jen and her rumor-spreading.
And Seth responds in kind:
Over in the Den of Despair (Mary’s hoarder closet) Charlinda, who is required by Mary to wear gloves and a hairnet at all times while working, tries to free Mary from the belt she’s trapped herself in.
So. Business as usual.
For no reason whatsoever, Mary explains that every spare room in their home is full of her clothes, and she’s considering purchasing an apartment just to store her purchases.
There’s a lot wrong with that statement and image, but I can’t get past this:
What am I looking at? A crystal octopus? A tiara for a giant? A chandelier that someone dramatically cut with a sword from the ceiling and it crashed on the floor below?
Whitney calls Mary,
and explains that she shared the hot goss with Jen at Sharrieff’s party, and even Mary, whose brain is somewhere on Jupiter, thinks that was a bad idea:
Heather and her business partner Dre are expanding Beauty Lab Laser and have stopped by the new location to check the progress.
You’ll be shocked to learn that Heather uses this as an opportunity to talk about the injustices she suffered in her marriage.
I do feel for Heather. I think she was taught some toxic things in her youth and is still unlearning a lot of those things. But what really bums me out is that because Heather spends so much of her camera time unpacking her new identity, we don’t really get to see that identity in action. I think she’s fun and feisty and could honestly be the runaway star of this franchise if she could just stop talking about her failed marriage and insecurities.
We could maybe be one step closer to that happening, because Heather and Dre have decided to start paying themselves,
which should make Heather financially independent and no longer in need of Billy’s alimony which has kept her going the last five years.
Seth and Meredith meet Lisa and John for dinner at Cucina Toscana
Lisa and John are characteristically late, so Seth and Meredith take a minute to make out at their table. In public. I cannot with these two.
John and Lisa eventually arrive,
so Meredith and Seth share their good news.
Then the couples spend the rest of the dinner trash-talking the other housewives.
Until Seth offers his opinion of the group dynamics:
To make up for ruining Sharrieff’s party, Whitney has invited Jen to a spa day.
The “spa,” though, is a little rough around the edges,
and doesn’t scream “Jen Shah” so much as “Manson Family.”
The spa interior is equally upsetting,
and manned by a woman with a dog in her sweater.
So Jen is both over and underwhelmed when she arrives.
The women are instructed to walk up a hill
until they arrive at their soaking tubs.
Once Whitney, Heather, and Jen are situated in their tubs, Whitney starts her sort of apology,
Which is actually more of a deflection.
And then, because Heather is who she is, she takes the blame,
but Jen isn’t buying it,
and starts laying into Whitney for destroying the party and therefore Jen’s marriage.
When Whitney tries to defend herself by saying she wasn’t the one to throw the glass, Jen gets that look in her eyes and that tone in her voice that means we’re about to get some fireworks.
Sure enough, Jen fires some shots at Whitney,
And Heather tries to take the bullet,
But to no avail.
Jen continues blaming Whitney (fair),
and after threatening to murder her, splashes the camera.
I guess cause it’s there?
It’s hilarious that her rage has extended to the people who are actively working to make her famous. Jen’s tantrums truly know no bounds.
Jen storms away, leaving Heather and Whitney to battle it out amongst themselves.
Eventually Jen gets back in her tub,
and they all have a heartfelt chat in which Heather reveals that she worries Jen would rather be friends with Lisa and Meredith than her.
I think the FBI should hire Heather as a hostage negotiator. Terrorists would hear about Heather’s issues with her ex and the church and would somehow forget why they had taken hostages in the first place. Her self-deprecating conversational pivots work surprisingly well, and work like a charm here on Jen.
Elsewhere in deseret, Lisa has planned an exclusive dinner for “inspirational women” at the Blue Sky Yurt, and has invited only one of the other housewives:
The poor yurt chef has to try to prepare a menu that pairs well with Vida Tequila,
likely an impossible task, but the food does look delicious.
In addition to Meredith, Lisa has invited other female entrepreneurs (read: Instagram Influencers):
Most importantly Angie Harrington, who I would bet my left foot will replace Mary on season 2.
I was positive Angie would be on season 1. She was on all the rumored lists, along with Sara. It’s obvious why they didn’t cast Sara, but I don’t know why they didn’t cast Angie. It could be because her ex was supposed to be a contestant on The Bachelorette, and that would have been too much? Or it could be because producers thought she was too young? But why cast Whitney and not Angie? Plus, the reality is in Utah, we tend to get married and have kids younger than the rest of the nation, so we hit that real housewife life about ten years before other women do. So it’s really not crazy to cast some thirty somethings.
Anyway, I followed Angie on Instagram for a hot minute when I thought she was going to be on the show and it was a wild time, so I’m all for making her a permanent player. I need more leather statement tops in my life.
At the end of the meal Lisa offers a toast to being good friends.
Because Jen has not been invited to the exclusive inspirational women dinner for friends, she’s home getting ready for bed,
when Sharrieff shows up after four days of absence and tells her they need to talk.
So they sit on their bed and have a deep conversation about Jen’s loneliness, Sharrieff’s long absences, grief, and alcoholism,
and seem to arrive at a place where they better understand each other,
Which is nice.
But you know what won’t be nice? Jen learning she wasn’t invited to the yurt dinner and I CANNOT WAIT.
But I’ll have to, and so will you.
Until then, check out our audio recaps of the RHOSLC episodes on The Green Room, and subscribe to our newsletter to get these recaps and other Hive Mind content in your inbox weekly. Also, support these recaps and podcasts by becoming a Hive Mind patron.